Mother refuses to take disobedient stepson to Disney with her toddler and her side of the family, husband's ex-wife tries to badger her into caving: ‘I'd have no real down time’

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  • "Her son has had more vacations in one year than we have in the entirety of my daughter's life."
  • "I’m going on a trip with my toddler. Husband will not be present. His ex wife is furious I’m not bringing my SS."

    My toddler and I are going to Disney with my side of family. My husband is not coming. We leave in a few days and my husband's ex wife flipped out that I'm not bringing stepson, even though he's going on vacation tomorrow, with her.
  • A few things. Stepson is much older and we are going with my mom, sisters and their toddlers. Stepson is in school, and has gone on several vacations this year with his mom, and again, is
  • going on another this week. He'd be missing a full week if he came with me. He's been to Disney this year already and many times before. My daughter has never been.
  • My husband isn't coming on the trip and my toddler is already a handful. I'd really like to be able to spend some good quality time with my mom and sisters- we'll be able to do this since all the little ones go to bed early.
  • I explained this to the ex, and also was honest about wanting to spend time with my mother and sisters, and that it would be hard with two kids- and she didn't care. She admitted her son
  • doesn't listen to or behave for me, but she still pushed back as so why I am in the wrong for not bringing him. Again... it would be me, solo parenting my toddler, and my much older stepson, without my husband present, for an entire week.
  • I love my stepson very much, but he hasn't always been the kindest and does not behave at all when my husband isn't present. He doesn't listen to me at all and it's been a struggle for years.
  • I didn't tell him about the trip because I didn't want it to be an issue. I understand this probably wasn't the best idea, but I didn't want to make a huge deal out of
  • it because I knew that it would be a battle regardless of how justified I feel it is- but I didn't think I'd be chastised by my husbands ex-wife over it.
  • While I would never in a million years exclude him from a family trip, this is only me, my daughter and my sisters and mother.
  • Not only would the age difference create a strain because it would be all little kids and one big kid wanting to do different things, but it would ultimately mean I'd have no real down time.
  • I feel like I don't need to even explain myself but husbands Ex has made a huge deal over it, knowing that her son has had more vacations in one year than we have in the entirety of my daughters life.
  • Anyway, am I a huge j ? ... because my husband's ex is making me feel like a horrible person.
  • EDIT: she started by calling my husband and lashing out. He shut her down, and stood by my choice not to bring SS. When she didn't hear what she wanted to hear from him, she came for me.
  • When I told her my reasoning, after stating I shouldn't have to, she still tried to convince me to take him and said "he'd be good" - any way I said no, went in one ear and out the other. My husband stands firm in that I should not be taking him. Promise he's got my back on this one!
  • radicalcoach Stop explaining yourself. This is none of her business. This is your family. And stop talking to her. That's your husband's job. NTA
  • fiestafan73 "You can refer to my husband, the child's father, for any complaints you have about our household. I won't be entertaining your big bag of bulls " NTA.
  • Bonnm42 NTA I would just say "How come you didn't invite my daughter on your trip?"
  • Aggressive_Cup8452 This is an issue that your husband needs to adress with his ex. He did crazy. Not you. This is not a "family trip" (husband and kids) this is a trip that you're taking with your family (your mom and sisters). Your husband's ex has ZERO input in who gets to go. Repeat: HUSBAND'S EX. NTA
  • Legal-Lingonberry577 100% no. If she wants him to go to Disney she can pay for it and take him. It's ludicrous she has any entitlement over what you do with you and your own family.
  • TrickyOperation6115 NTA. You didn't need to explain yourself to the ex. At all. Next time she starts down this line of questioning, hold up your hand and say "With all due respect, this decision has nothing to do with you and I did not ask for your input."
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